


True Happiness is You

by Jania28



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Established Relationship, Hidden Relationship, Hints of Abusive Dean Winchester, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:42:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27466627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jania28/pseuds/Jania28
Summary: Sam feels the world around him slow down and stop as he realizes what Castiel plans to do. He wants to protest, scream, sob, beg, do anything to stop his lover from leaving him.
Relationships: Castiel/Sam Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52





	True Happiness is You

Sam felt like he’d been hiding his true self for his entire life. He’d hid his longing for normalcy, his love of knowledge and even his sexuality from Dean. So when he’d fallen in love with Castiel, it had become yet another thing he’d had to hide. Not that Castiel had minded much, both of them had realized quickly that in order to be happy they had to keep their connection to themselves and away from Dean’s fury. It was the curse of living with someone who had a hair trigger temper and access to weapons. 

And if Sam was being honest with himself, he liked having this kind of secret. It gave him a hope that the world wasn’t as horrible as he was beginning to suspect it was. Coming home to the peace of Cas’ Grace and his gentle touch strengthened the younger Winchester and he hoped his presence helped the angel as well. 

But then Dean had to go and piss off God himself, tangling both Sam and Castiel into the mess. Which is how the hunter and angel had found themselves behind a warded door fending off Death and mourning those she had sent back into dust. Sam could feel the heaviness of the moment and he wondered if this was the end of his story. It was fitting really dying while trying to make a last stand. 

“Sam,” Castiel said, his tone low and calm, “we need to stop Death before everything falls apart.” Sam fought the urge to roll his eyes as he replied. “I know….I hope you have an idea because I’m fresh out.” “I do,” the angel said, his tone becoming heavy with someone Sam didn’t want to put a name to, because if he did it would terrify him. 

“What,” Sam asked, trying to keep his voice from shaking. “The Empty,” Cas said, his voice breaking as he moved to Sam’s side and looking up at the hunter with tears starting to pool in his eyes. “I made a deal with it to save Jack...if I convince it I am truly deeply happy it will come to collect me and will kill Billie in the process.” 

Sam feels the world around him slow down and stop as he realizes what Castiel plans to do. He wants to protest, scream, sob, beg, do anything to stop his lover from leaving him, but he also knows that Cas is right….that if they don’t make some sort of sacrifice play right now...then Chuck wins….Billie wins. Sam can’t speak; he can only nod as tears start to well up in his own eyes. 

“Sam Winchester, you are the bravest, strongest man I have ever known,” Castiel says, his voice breaking more, “your soul is so bright that sometimes it hurts to look at it and yet despite everything you have chosen to love me. It has been my honor to know you and share your bed and if this is our last moment together I want you to know.” The angel takes a deep breath and part of Sam’s heart and soul with it as he adds. “I love you.” 

Sam can feel a howl building up in his throat, but before he can let it out or worse make the Empty drag him into it with Cas, his angel is gone, drawn into a black hole of slurping slime that draws Billie into it too. And all Sam can do is stare at the piece of the stone floor where Cas had been standing just moments before his mind unable to process his loss.  
Dean finds Sam there and no amount of shaking, yelling, pulling and even punching can get the younger man to move. He only stares trying to will his lover into existence again. He moves through the bunker like a zombie for days, a broken man unable or unwilling to even look at Dean or Jack thought Jack is able to draw Sam out enough to eat or sleep when he needs to. 

Jack is also the only one who knows what Sam does at night, curling around the pillow Cas used when resting with Sam, and sobbing when he thinks no one else can hear. His anchor is gone and nothing can ease Sam’s grief, not even burning Chuck to the ground though Sam Winchester plans to make that as painful as possible. If Dean is done with being Chuck’s puppet, then Sam is done with being everyone’s punching bag. 

And he plans to make sure the world damm well knows that his angel’s sacrifice was worth it, because otherwise what does he have to live for.


End file.
